What do pregnant women really want to talk about? #pregnancy #BBC5Live #mumtobe #EmmaBarnettShow #pregnancyproblems

Author Sarah Beeson MBE joins Presenter Emma Barnett and Poet Hollie McNish to talk sickness, sex and haemorrhoids – that’s right pregnancy on BBC Radio 5 Live. The frank, funny and sometimes sickening side of pregnancy.

Sarah Beeson MBE

Listen again to this light-hearted discussion of pregnancy with listener stories, poetry from Hollie McNish on the Emma Barnett Show on BBC Radio 5 Live from 44 minutes.

Perfect book for new parents

When health visitor Sarah Beeson’s pregnant daughter asked her to put pen to paper on caring for her new baby she didn’t know it would result into a parenting book full of secrets from four decades of working with families. The result was Happy Baby, Happy Family.

‘Best new pregnancy books… Extensive guide to trusting yourself and understanding your baby.’ Gurgle

‘Answers to key baby-raising questions while sensibly explaining that no one parenting style fits all. A great read to boost your new parent confidence.’ Prima Baby book of the month

Pregnancy Interview

Listen to Sarah from 51 minutes on BBC Radio 5 Live.

EMMA BARNETT: What do you think doesn’t get talked about Sarah in terms of physical and emotional aspect?

SARAH BEESON: I think there’s lots of things and we always go on about hormones, but actually, some of your speakers have brought that in and it’s so true. The hormones that are being released into your body in early pregnancy and all through pregnancy are responsible for a lot things; whether it’s raised libido in a very small percentage or feeling don’t touch me, don’t come near me in other people. There’s what doctors call minor illnesses or complications in pregnancy but they don’t feel very minor when you’ve got them. When you’ve got haemorrhoids or constipation, itching or restless legs. Back ache and pelvis pain that Hollie’s referred to is also a hormone thing where cartilage has soften a bit for an easier a birth but it can cause back ache and pelvic pain. Yes, there’s a lot of different variations on people’s pregnancies and you don’t really know what will affect you or have a say, which is really difficult.

EMMA BARNETT: You don’t see those posters Hollie was talking about that say you will get haemorrhoids, you will get itchy belly as it stretches – those sides aren’t advertised.

SARAH BEESON: No they’re not. Is it a conspiracy? Do people not want to put pregnant women off being pregnant?

HOLLIE MCNISH: You can’t sell anything if you put that.

EMMA BARNETT: You could sell haemorrhoid cream.

SARAH BEESON: Yes, haemorrhoid cream, constipation treatment.

EMMA BARNETT: I didn’t think it was going to go in this direction so quickly but I’m thrilled that it has. Sarah, do you feel there’s also a guilt for women saying I absolutely hate being pregnant?

SARAH BEESON: Society has this view doesn’t it? This wonderful glowing view of pregnancy and in reality if you’re being sick, it doesn’t feel so great. I remember being terribly sick myself. A great friend of mine came to my house and she was expecting her first. She knocked on the door and shouted to me to get a bag and was sick into it before we even said hello. She used all the bags in the car on the way and she needed quite a lot more. Nobody says to you get your sick bags ready, or think about putting your legs up. It wouldn’t be very encouraging! But, interestingly the lady who said she had a terrible time but now she’s thinking was it so terrible? Do I want another one? Again, nature takes over. There are two main urges in human being, which is the will to live and sex. Pregnancy has got that in abundance.

EMMA BARNETT: Talking about power of hormones. Sarah do you think enough is said about how you brain might feel?

SARAH BEESON: Probably not. I think what Hollie’s saying put it in a nutshell. You’re bombarded with all these ideas about what you should and shouldn’t do. And because many of us feel more anxious in pregnancy and things take on gigantic proportions, less would be better. There’s so many different aspects to worry about, it’s no good saying to people don’t worry about that and don’t worry about this, because you do feel worried and have anxieties.

Hollie McNIsh

Poet and mum Hollie McNish read her fantastic poem Banana Baby on the show.

To see Hollie McNish’s amazing poetry go to https://holliepoetry.com/

 

Sarah Beeson’s MBE is a former health visitor and author of parenting guide Happy Baby, Happy Family and health visiting memoir Our Country Nurse published by HarperCollins available in paperback, eBook and audiobook.

Why does my new baby cry and go rigid? #parenting #newmum #colic

Former health visitor and author of Happy Baby, Happy Family Sarah Beeson MBE angers real mum’s questions in Mother & Baby.

My six-week-old often straightens her legs and tries to go rigid when crying. What is she trying to tell me?

This sounds like it is probably colic. Often babies go red in the face, get distressed and angry, draw their knees up, arch their backs and sometimes try to push off you with their feet and seem like they are trying to jump out of your arms. It’s not your fault your baby has colic, though it can sometimes feel like they suddenly don’t like you.

Why do they do this? It’s all part of their digestive system adjusting to life outside of the womb and the digestive discomfort they feel as their body is processing the milk. It is usually a short-lived spasm.

The best thing you can do is to stay calm and soothe your baby with swaying, gentle motion and soothing sounds like singing. Give them lots of sympathy and cuddles and take deep long breathes in and out to reduce your own feelings of stress and anxiety. If you have any concerns see your GP to get your little one checked.

Sarah Beeson’s MBE is a former health visitor and author of parenting guide Happy Baby, Happy Family and health visiting memoir Our Country Nurse published by HarperCollins available in paperback, eBook and audiobook.

Can parents have great conversations?

By Amy Beeson

Quite a few of my friends and associates from different background are also Coaches. Although they’re incredibly supportive and insightful to talk to, they also don’t pull their punches from pointing out if the person who is holding me back from something is actually me.

When Mumsnet Babyfest connected us with Barefoot Coaching and suggested we check out their Coaching Cards for New Parents I messaged Coaching Friends to ask if they’d come across them. The resounding answer was “Yes, they’re amazing. I trained with them.” And I’m not a girl who asks for professionals opinions and then ignores them.

kindred spirits

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Kim Morgan and Sarah Beeson

My mum and writing partner (Sarah Beeson MBE) and I were invited to a getting to know you breakfast with Kim Morgan the writer of Coaching Cards for New Parents and one the UK’s most esteemed business and personal coaches and her daughter Saira Aspinall who is the Marketing Director of Barefoot Coaching. When we met it was like we were old friends within minutes because we had so much in common on parenting, being working mums and mother and daughter teams. There was a lot of nodding, animated conversation and women’s laughter in the middle of the dining room of a central London hotel that morning.

Saira and I both have a background in marketing and publishing and are trying to balance the whole being good at my job and at being a good mum thing, and confessed that both of our mums’ (Sarah & Kim) were our 24/7 hotline to letting go of mummy guilt.

Kim and Sarah discovered they’d both been greatly influenced by Dr Mia Kellmer Pringle’s work on the emotional needs of children which shaped Sarah’s research for our parenting book Happy Baby, Happy Family. Kellmer Pringle is also a character in Our Country Nurse. 

We left with an advanced pack of Barefoot Coaching Cards For New Parents to take home and play with and couldn’t wait to see what each of the 50 cards within the pack suggested. Saira and Kim were invited to our launch party for our new book Our Country Nurse and it was great to spend more time with them there.

sarah beeson gives thumbs up for new parents coaching cards

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Sarah and I looked at every card and picked out the top ten cards that resonated with us the most. We came to the conclusion that opportunities for romance may be few and far between with a new baby but trying to be kind to each other and not loosing sight that you’re a partnership as well as parents benefits everyone.

Parents could use Kim Morgan’s Coaching Cards to give themselves time and space to talk about  their lives and share all the lovely moments being a new parent has brought so far. They could also be a tool to start a discussion on any  issues you’re experiencing such as feelings of guilt and self-criticism or feeling under valued by your partner. You might pre-select a card or pick one at random and see where the conversation takes you.

Picking a calm moment and card or two to have an open and kind conversation about your thoughts and feelings since you’ve becoming parents and actively listening to your partner will help you to appreciate how much you’ve already grown as a family.
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Sarah’s favourite coaching card in the pack said, ‘What messages did you receive about yourself as a child? To what extent have these messages stuck with you or become true?’ It’s definitely a theme that runs through our parenting advice and novels. We gave away one of these cards to every reader who came to our book launches for Our Country Nurse and they agreed whoever you are, this question opens  up discussion about your past, present and future.

ASK YOUR PARTNER TO PICK A card

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One evening I got our the pack of Coaching Cards and my husband Takbir and I took turns to pick one each at random. It did give me a opporutnity to talk about some issues I’d been bottling up but also it was good to listen to him. To consider how our very different childhoods are influencing our behaviour as parents and how our greatest strength is working together as a team.

It being the school holidays our daughter Ava had less strict bedtimes and soon wandered into our conversation. She took a turn to pick a card too and asked us questions and answered them herself about her own experiences. As a family it was a lovely way to spend some time together and I noticed we were all very present in the moment. All the devices were turned off and it was nice to have an open discussion about our lives and share in our happiest memories.

great gift for new parents

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Kim asked Sarah if she’d endorse the coaching cards which she did gladly. If you pick up a pack this is the quote you’ll see on the back.

“Using these cards to talk about the highs and lows of parenthood will be good  for you and your family.”
Sarah Beeson MBE, author of Happy Baby, Happy Family

Coaching Cards are designed to make honest, open conversation between new parents easier. They can be dipped into time and again, the cards can be used throughout the first year of parenthood and beyond into the toddler years. Easy to pick up and use, they make a great new baby gift if you’re shopping for a present for new parents or mums to be.

ABOUT BAREFOOT COACHING CARDS FOR NEW PARENTS

Coaching Cards for New Parents by Kim Morgan are available to Buy on Amazon. You can get more information on Barefoot’s Coaching Cards range at Barefootcoachingcards.co.uk and follow them on Twitter and Instagram @barefootcoachingcards.

Do you love holding other people’s babies?

I must confess when I first had LO you think your baby is so awesome it’s hard to be interested in anyone else’s. I guess that’s just natures way of making your new baby the centre of your world.

But with LO starting school last week I got to hold other people’s scrumptious new babies at YoBeBe Apps Mums & Bumps Meet Up at Somerset House and man they were just gorgeous.  What a fantastic gathering of mums and mums-to-be. With complimentary gifts from Mothercare.

It was also a pleasure to chat to the pregnant first time mums about bump life. They were already putting such thought and time into preparing for their Little One’s; my mum (author Sarah Beeson MBE) is right this is the best generation of parents ever. I was asked to speak to this group of women about my journey into motherhood, becoming an author and setting up my own business Wordsby.

Along with Marion a parent blogger at Poignee D’Amour who organises Free Meet Ups in Notting Hill and Elisa who teaches ballet with bump and baby from PregDance.  The advice we give in Happy Baby, Happy Family seemed to strike a big cord and one mum who’s read it said our instant baby calmer The Up-Down Technique stops her baby crying every time in seconds!

You can see Sarah for 1-2-1 Baby Advice at Mumsnet Bumpfest in London on 26 Sept.    And at Natures Purest Balham on 29 September.    There really is nothing more we like than talking to mums and expectant mums so please get in touch if your run a group in London or the Midlands.