How to survive a Christmas shopping trip with kids

Sarah shares her top christmas shopping tips with Tesco Living.

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Christmas shopping with a baby

If you’ve got a newborn or a baby, the secret to Christmas shopping success is in careful planning and timing, says parenting author and former health visitor Sarah Beeson. You’ll want to coincide your shopping trip with when your child is sleeping, “So before you set off give them a really good feed, change their nappy and ensure they’re snuggled up and content,” she advises. “You will most likely only have a two-hour window to do a trolley dash, so make a list and plan exactly how to use this precious time.” If your little one wakes up, she does not recommend persevering. “There is no joy in walking around the shops with a crying baby, so park it if you can and come back another day.”

Christmas shopping with a toddler

If you’ve got a toddler or young children, the key is to avoid rush hour at the shops. “Go off-peak and avoid lunchtime and directly after school, as keeping the kids occupied in long queues is often the most challenging part of shopping,” explains Sarah. Before you leave for the shops, give your kids a drink and a snack, and ensure they’ve been to the toilet.

Make sure you’ve got everything you need with you too: “Have a few old toys that they haven’t seen in a while in your bag as a back-up to entertain them if they get fed up,” Sarah recommends. “Take a small banana and a bottle of water with you; tantrums are often related to dehydration, so a small, healthy snack can really help with good behaviour.” While it may be tempting to give in to your child’s pleas for a treat when you’re out, this is likely to backfire: “Sugary foods and drinks often make children overactive,” explains Sarah.

Turn them into Santa’s Little Helpers

If you will need to do the big Christmas food shop with your children, you can get a bit crafty, says Sarah. “Before you go, cut out pictures from the packet foods you regularly buy and create a list of items your children will be responsible for finding when you’re there,” she suggests. “Let them match the pictures on the shopping list in each aisle while you get on with the rest of the shop. Many places have little trolleys for children, which are great for making it a fun experience for them.” This approach may take a little while longer, but it keeps them occupied and out of your hair, and turns a chore into a learning opportunity. “Praise them when they find the items and you’ll have your very own Santa’s Little Helpers!”

Christmas shopping with older children

Your kids may be at that in-between stage when they’re not quite old enough to leave unsupervised. If you’re taking them along on a shopping trip, it’s still worth making sure they’ve had something to eat and drink and gone to the toilet before you set off. “Avoid bribery or threats to get them to behave,” Sarah advises. “Shopping for Christmas is part of creating a lovely occasion for the whole family, but takes planning and preparation,” she says. “This is a good opportunity to show them that it doesn’t just happen by magic.”

Help your child to feel included in the process by making a list together and letting them choose and make decisions on some of the things to buy. “This gives them some responsibility and shows you respect them,” says Sarah. If they’re busy looking for items and making choices about what to get, they won’t be bored and sulking. “Thank them for helping and give them praise – this shows them the standard of behaviour you expect and leads by example.”

Read the full article on Smart Shopping on Tesco Living

About Sarah Beeson MBE

Over four decades as a nurse and a health visitor Sarah Beeson’s career has been shaped by the needs of children. Since her earliest days on the wards of Hackney Hospital she has stood up for her patients as shown in The New Arrival her heartwarming true story of training to be a nurse in 1970s London.

Her expertise and innovation have been recognised with the MBE from the Queen for services to children and families, and her health prevention work received the Queen’s Nursing Institute Award but she’s happiest listening to mums talking about their baby.

Sarah firmly believes that this generation of parents is the best there has ever been. Her new parenting book Happy Baby, Happy Family: Learning to trust yourself and enjoy your baby is the culmination of a life time’s experience watching, listening and being part of thousands of families’ journeys from birth to their Little One’s first birthday and will be published by HarperCollins in Spring 2015.

Sarah second memoir about being a newly qualified health visiting in rural Kent in 1970s She’s Arrived! will be published by HarperCollins in March 2016.

Sarah Beeson talks to Tesco Living on How to kick common childhood habits

Nail biting, thumb sucking…should you be worried? Sarah gives some advice about how to support your child on Tesco Living.

Ask Sarah

Don’t worry too much about some childhood habits

“Babies sometimes develop habits like sucking a dummy or their thumb to soothe themselves,” explains Sarah Beeson, former health visitor and parenting author. “Whether they suck the label of their favourite toy, or they’ve got to have the same blankie in their hands every night when you tuck them up in bed, if it causes them no harm, and isn’t something you’re bothered about, it’s fine to leave it alone,” she says. “Don’t force your child to break a babyish habit because you think you ought to or because of remarks from relatives or friends.”

Dummies

While many parents find dummies helpful to soothe newborns, it is one habit that is good to try and break before they are six months old, recommends Sarah. “Their growing attachment for it will increase and it can become harder to break,” she explains. “Dummies can affect your baby’s teeth: they often push food up into the gums, so once your baby is weaning it becomes even more important for them to give up their dummy to avoid damage.”

Sarah also recommends a positive approach: “The secret is giving your child lots of praise and encouragement. Offer cuddles, playtime and stories as an alternative to the dummy when they reach for it as a distraction. This calls for heaps of patience and perseverance, but every time you get them to accept an alternative is an achievement.” For thumb sucking, Sarah suggests gently taking your child’s thumb out of their mouth, holding their hand and playing Round And Round the Garden. “This way they are getting a positive experience in place of sucking their thumb,” she explains. “Also, you are unlikely to get the response you want from using verbal commands.”

Nail biting and positive encouragement

Nail biting tends to be more common in older children and teens, so requires a slightly different approach. “Talk to your child about what might help them stop biting their nails, and avoid methods such as bitter-tasting substances on the nails as a deterrent, as this can feel like a punishment, and take away from your child’s sense of achievement and responsibility,” Sarah says. She also stresses that if your child does not want to break the habit themselves, they are very unlikely to stop. “If your child feels nagged, then your words, no matter how well intentioned, are likely to fall on deaf ears,” she says. “Having arguments over the habit will just fan the flames.”

As with other habits, it is more helpful to give praise and encouragement when they are doing well than to reprimand or punish them when they don’t succeed. “Give them the majority of the responsibility for curing their habit,” Sarah suggests. “If they are at a loss for ideas about how to stop then you could offer some suggestions, but let your child pick one and stick to it.”

Most children grow out of these habits, either on their own or with help from a parent. The barometer should be whether you are still worried about it after trying the above suggestions. “Interventions rarely work instantly,” Sarah warns. “It’s good for your child to learn that sometimes things take time, and it’s far better to try one approach at a time than many, only to give up in frustration.”

Read the full article on Tesco Living.

About Sarah Beeson MBE

Over four decades as a nurse and a health visitor Sarah Beeson’s career has been shaped by the needs of children. Since her earliest days on the wards of Hackney Hospital she has stood up for her patients as shown in The New Arrival her heartwarming true story of training to be a nurse in 1970s London.

Her expertise and innovation have been recognised with the MBE from the Queen for services to children and families, and her health prevention work received the Queen’s Nursing Institute Award but she’s happiest listening to mums talking about their baby.

Sarah firmly believes that this generation of parents is the best there has ever been. Her new parenting book Happy Baby, Happy Family: Learning to trust yourself and enjoy your baby is the culmination of a life time’s experience watching, listening and being part of thousands of families’ journeys from birth to their Little One’s first birthday and will be published by HarperCollins in Spring 2015.

Sarah second memoir about being a newly qualified health visiting in rural Kent in 1970s She’s Arrived! will be published by HarperCollins in March 2016.

#AskSarah Should my 3-4 year old still be having a nap? How can I get them to bed earlier?

This week’s #AskSarah question comes from Rachael @MushroomsMum otherwise known as @ReallyRachaelB who is mum to 3-year-old Mushroom, and a freelance writer, poet and personal coach over at Writing People Poetry. Catch up with her life as working London mum on Mothering Mushroom.

Mushroomsmum large@MushroomsMum Rachael Blair

Rachael’s #AskSarah question is; “Mushroom bedtime is between 7 -8pm but he is rarely asleep before 9/9.30pm, by which time he’s exhausted. I tried cutting out his nap on days he wakes up later but he is just exhausted by 3pm and falls asleep wherever he is and then doesn’t go to bed till 10pm. When it came to sleep ‘training’ I quickly knew that it wasn’t right for us but on naps and whether to reduce them/cut them out I’m not so sure?”

Rachael to nap or not to nap is a very good question. Mums know best about their child’s needs and naps can be tricky. If you’re happy to have a familiar pattern to your day but feel confident to go with the flow – do it. It’s understandable to want to get Little One’s to bed earlier on a weeknight and you can still be a bit more flexible on the weekend if you want to. There are times to be calm but firm and other times when you know they are having an off-day and can let yourself be a tad more indulgent – we all have those days whatever our age!

If you feel he still needs his nap then go with your instinct; it shows how much you are in tune with him that you respect his needs and put him first. Your Little One still has a lot of growing to do and it does sound like he still needs a sleep after lunch and ideally the earlier the better but things will be variable and that’s completely normal.

The afternoon nap

Lunch for this age group usually falls anytime from 11.30am – 1pm followed by a nap between 12.30 – 1.30pm. It’s fine for him to nap for up to two hours but encourage him to wake up by about 3.30pm at the latest if you want to get him to bed by 8pm. Turn back his covers or take off warm clothing so the cool air gets to his skin, or turn on his favourite TV show, chat to him positively as he naturally comes to. Small children often take anywhere between 5 – 20 minutes to come to after their afternoon nap in contrast to the morning where they so often seem to wake up with plenty of bounce.

Don’t beat yourself up if the day doesn’t go your way and it takes you until 2pm to get him off to sleep or he doesn’t nap at all. It might just be that he doesn’t need a nap that day and you may want to put him to bed early. Try to avoid trips out in the car or buggy when you’ve passed the nap window in case he nods off. If he does fall asleep for a very late afternon nap despite your best efforts then he must need it, it does happen every now and then, especially if he’s been unwell or things haven’t been how they normally are.

Influencing an earlier, shorter bedtime

Food, drink, exercise and rituals play a vital role in sleep and general behaviour patterns. What children eat and drink is very tied up with being able to let go and naturally drift off to sleep. Good nutrition and sleep go hand in hand.

In a recent #AskSarah about dropping the last feed I outlined a toddler bedtime routine and toddler diet plan; which would also be suitable for your Little One. So let’s just check off the list some of the things that will help get him to sleep a bit earlier.

1. Diet

Give him three little meals a day plus a healthy morning and afternoon snack and a milky supper before bed and maybe a milky drink with his bedtime story. He should be having about a pint of milk a day (including products like yogurt and cheese as part of his daily intake).

Avoid chocolate, sweets especially coloured ones (though a few white chocolate buttons or an apple cereal bar for an occasional sweet treat is fine). Cut out sugary foods in the late afternoon and evening as the sugar rush can keep them awake. Some children’s behaviour is badly affected by artificial colours. Sweetners in sugar-free and low sugar squashes make them permanently thirsty and feel full even when they have an empty stomach.

2. Exercise

A big factor in nap time and bedtime is exercise. They really do need to run their little legs off, whether it’s a trip to the park, going for a walk, dancing around, running about at nursery or a trip to a museum. Fresh air every day is a recipe for sweet dreams and if you can do an activity in the morning and the afternoon it usually pays dividends.

2. Calm Down

Turn off TV, put away phones, tablets and games at least 1/2 hour before bedtime. Set the scene by turning off bright lights. You can switch on the radio if you want some gentle background noise but nothing too energetic. Children like the security of bedtime rituals and soon pick up cues and patterns, every family has their own way of doing things.

3. Bedtime Rituals

A typical bedtime routine can be…

– TV and devices off (iPhones, iPads etc put away)

– Lights turned down low

– Milky supper

– Bath time

– Into bed with a story

– Nursery rhymes or prayers

– Kisses goodnight

If your child doesn’t want you to leave straight away you could sit in the room for 5 minutes in a dark corner preferably slightly out of sight. Then say you’ll check back in 5 minutes and leave him to drift off.

From supper-time to the last kiss goodnight, try to get your bedtime routine down to an hour or less. Establishing a bit of a ritual for going to bed helps your Little One feel secure and accept that it’s now time to start calming down and go to sleep. When he is relaxed and contented sleep will come more easily.

Final thought

Lots of luck Rachael. Getting your Little One to bed a bit earlier will give you all a bit of relaxation time. There will always be the odd few days when things don’t go according to plan. As he approaches school age he will probably start to drop his nap but for now you’re listening to your child and he will lead the way.

What did you think of this week’s #AskSarah? Did you like it? Yes, then please do share it with your friends and subscribe for updates on mums, babies, books and stories and send us a tweet @NewArrivalBook or join us on Facebook.

If you’ve got a question you’d like to ask then go to the #AskSarah page and drop us a line. Trust yourself and enjoy your baby, you are the expert on your own child.

sarah name

 

 

Ask Sarah

 

Over four decades as a nurse and a health visitor Sarah Beeson’s career has been shaped by the needs of children. Since her earliest days on the wards of Hackney Hospital she has stood up for her patients as shown in The New Arrival her heartwarming true story of training to be a nurse in 1970s London.

Her expertise and innovation have been recognised with the MBE from the Queen for services to children and families, and her health prevention work received the Queen’s Nursing Institute Award but she’s happiest listening to mums talking about their baby.

Sarah firmly believes that this generation of parents is the best there has ever been. Her new parenting book Happy Baby, Happy Family: Learning to trust yourself and enjoy your baby is the culmination of a life time’s experience watching, listening and being part of thousands of families’ journeys from birth to their Little One’s first birthday and will be published by HarperCollins in Spring 2015.

Sarah second memoir about being a newly qualified health visiting in rural Kent in 1970s She’s Arrived! will be published by HarperCollins in March 2016.

#AskSarah Trusting your instincts on poorly toddlers, reading everyday and sharing

This week’s #AskSarah question is from @MrsSardines who as well as being mum to a 19 month little boy writes Mummy Always Knows Best a blog with musings from a new(ish) Mum on the things she’s learnt, great ideas and bargains that all help make life a little bit easier to treat yourself and your loved ones.

@MrsSardines@MrsSardines and her LO #babysnaps

1. Should I keep my sick child home?

@MrsSardines first question was; “I tend to keep my child away from other young children if he is poorly. Am I doing the right thing? It is very hard to maintain routines when little ones are poorly. Is it OK to just go with whatever soothes the child; e.g. co-sleeping or should one maintain routine?”

When your LO is poorly with an infectious illness keeping him home prevents it spreading and also gives him the TLC he needs. It’s the responsible thing to do.

Plenty of cuddles, lots of fluids and little meals if he can manage them and any prescribed medication will have him feeling right as rain in no-time. He needs time to rest and recover and you’re saving another mum from the stress, worry and balancing act of having a poorly child. Your intuition is spot-on – keep on following it.

Routines tend to shift a little all the time. You may find you develop a sick day routine that keeps things manageable for him and for you. Once he’s better you can get back on track with what your days and nights are usually like – there’s no harm in doing what feels right on the day.

The under-fives tend to get a new infection every 4-6 weeks and sometimes it can feel like illnesses come one on top of the other, which can be very hard on everyone but it is normal. If he ever has a high temperature or you’re concerned that he’s not getting better, then it’s always a good idea to get him checked by your GP.

The best medicine of all is Mummy’s love, and care and it sounds like he’s getting plenty of that.

 

2. Should I worry about using phonics when teaching my toddler to talk?

@MrsSardines second question was; “What can I do to encourage my child to talk? Is he too young to worry about phonics or is introducing earlier worthwhile (e.g. sounding out words when naming things) so he gets used to them earlier on?”

Reading to your child everyday is the best way to help with language development, if there’s one thing any parent can do to encourage talking, it is telling stories.

Your LO’s speech and language will come naturally when he is ready. Phonics and flashcards won’t give him an advantage over other children; he’ll talk in his own good time.

The most supportive thing you can do is to just chat to him. A trip to the library or local bookshop is lovely if you can make it part of your day every now and then, but simply talking about the everyday things you do together and the world around you is what he needs. It’s enjoying the experience of language that has the biggest impact, just go with what feels right in the moment.

 

3. Should I encourage my toddler to stand up for himself?

@MrsSardines last question; “My child has a very gentle nature, which means he ends getting pushed around. It doesn’t bother him and so he walks away, giving up easily. Does this mean he will be picked on when he is older? Am I OK letting his natural easygoingness carry on, or should I encourage him to stand up for himself a bit more?”

It’s natural not to want to share, it’s something we learn in order to get along with others. Your LO’s gentle nature is a credit to your parenting. It doesn’t mean he won’t be able to stand up for himself, he’ll probably have bucket-loads of quiet confidence.

Your LO can walk away because he is getting his emotional needs as well as his practical needs met, and doesn’t feel he has to fight his corner and offload some anger during playtime. Carry on and let him play; he’s a wise baby, trust in him and you.

 

Final thoughts

Three great questions there and at the heart of them is following your instincts versus doing what you think maybe you ought to be doing. It sounds like @MrsSardines has a really lovely relationship with her LO and a strong sense of what makes them both happy. It’s natural to question whether you are doing the right thing – that’s why today’s parents are the best there has ever been.

What did you think of this week’s #AskSarah? Did you like it? Yes, then please do share it with your friends and subscribe for updates on mums, babies, books and stories and send us a tweet @NewArrivalBook or join us on Facebook.

If you’ve got a question you’d like to ask then go to the #AskSarah page and drop us a line. Trust yourself and enjoy your baby, you are the expert on your own child.

sarah name

 

 

Ask Sarah

 

Over four decades as a nurse and a health visitor Sarah Beeson’s career has been shaped by the needs of children. Since her earliest days on the wards of Hackney Hospital she has stood up for her patients as shown in The New Arrival her heartwarming true story of training to be a nurse in 1970s London.

Her expertise and innovation have been recognised with the MBE from the Queen for services to children and families, and her health prevention work received the Queen’s Nursing Institute Award but she’s happiest listening to mums talking about their baby.

Sarah firmly believes that this generation of parents is the best there has ever been. Her new parenting book Happy Baby, Happy Family: Learning to trust yourself and enjoy your baby is the culmination of a life time’s experience watching, listening and being part of thousands of families’ journeys from birth to their Little One’s first birthday and will be published by HarperCollins in Spring 2015.

Sarah second memoir about being a newly qualified health visiting in rural Kent in 1970s She’s Arrived! will be published by HarperCollins in March 2016.

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